Where it all started...

So I need to explain our journey to where we are today.


DH and I met when we were 18 years old. We attended the same high school and had mutual friends but we never crossed paths until the 13th grade (back in the days of OAC). We ended up having 3 out of 4 classes together that last year. Anyways, we started dating and have been together ever since. We survived a long distance relationship for 4 years while I went to chiropractic college and got married April 20th, 2006 about eight years after we met.


I always knew I would have trouble having kids. I never had a regular period and most times it was only once or twice a year. When I did get a visit from Aunt Flo it was terrible. It would last 8-10 days of heavy flow and major cramps headache, back pain and nausea with vomiting. When I was around 19 I finally went to my doctor about it and she ran some tests and diagnosed me with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). She put on the birth control pill and told me that I might have trouble getting pregnant but we would cross that bridge when we got to it.


Fast forward to March 2007. DH and I have been married for 1 year and I suggest that maybe I go off the birth control pills and we see what happens. Well no big surprise there, I didn't get a period. So by June I went to see my GP and she referred me to my wonderful fertility doctor whom I couldn't get into see until November. Yes NOVEMBER! So I waited patiently for my November appointment and that was when we started our tests and treatments. The first thing he did was put me on 1500mg of Metformin and then provera to induce AF. I took that while I waited for my blood tests to come back and one day I got a letter from my new doc. One of my tests came back very abnormal and he was referring me to an endocrinologist for follow up. So I waited a few weeks to see the endocrinologist and the morning of my appointment I decided to take a pregnancy test because I knew that would be one of the first questions they asked me. Well I got the biggest shock of my life when 2 lines showed up. I was so surprised and scared and excited that I forgot to rinse the conditioner out of my hair that morning. I went to see the endocrinologist that morning and told him the good news. He examined me and took my history and told me he didn't think that I had what my RE said I did and re-ordered the bloodwork as well as a beta HCG test to confirm my pregnancy. 2 Days later his nurse called and gave me the fabulous news that I was indeed pregnant and my HCG levels were nice and high (around 7000).



By this time it was a week before Christmas and DH and I were so excited but we decided to wait until after all the Christmas craziness to tell our family. On Christmas Eve I started spotting. I wasn't panicked at first because everything I read said that it was normal to spot in early pregnancy and it wasn't very heavy at all. I hosted Christmas Eve dinner and continued to spot and started to get more worried about it. I told our guests that I wasn't feeling well and they all went home and DH and I went to the ER. The rest of this story is pretty long and drawn out with many betas and ultrasounds but to make a long story short by new years eve we knew our baby was growing anymore and I was just waiting to miscarry. Little did I know that it would take me 12 weeks to actually miscarry!



So I actually had my miscarriage in February and somehow managed to get pregnant in March. I had such optimism this time. I had sore breasts and nausea and I even threw up. This joy was once again short lived because at 6 weeks while hosting a family dinner I started bleeding and cramping heavily. I went straight upstairs to my bed without even mentioning it to anyone and everyone eventually went home. I was crushed after this loss. I knew in my heart that this wasn't bad luck, I knew something was wrong with me. I talked with my RE about it and he said that until I had 3 miscarriages he couldn't do anything. He said because they were both so early it was probably just a bad coincidence. I knew he was wrong but I figured I would just get pregnant really quick have another miscarriage and finally get some testing but I was so wrong!



We tried for several months with no luck and eventually we ended up trying Clomid to increase our chances. The second month on Clomid we got pregnant again, this was the beginning of October of 2008. I had done a lot of research and reading about recurrent miscarriage and had put myself on a daily dose of baby aspirin after reading that it helped some women carry to term and wasn't harmful even if unnecessary. My beta's were checked every other day for a few weeks as well as my progesterone and both were perfect. I had my first ultrasound at 6 weeks 2 days and we saw the flicker of the heartbeat. I had another ultrasound at 12 weeks and everything looked perfect. Things were wonderful, my belly was growing the baby looked great and I had an at home doppler that allowed me to listen to the heartbeat at home. 2 weeks after our 12 week ultrasound was Christmas. That morning I decided to use the doppler and listen to my little one, but I couldn't find the heartbeat. I tried not to worry but I knew that it had always been very easy to find. I kept trying for a few more days and never found it and finally a few days after Christmas I went to the ER with pain in my abdomen. The story gets long and drawn out here again but basically the baby had no heartbeat, it had died at 14 weeks 3 days. I was admitted into the hospital on New Years Eve and given medication to try and induce labour. I sat for 4 days in that hospital waiting for something to happen but my body wouldn't cooperate. The doctor was hesitant to do a D&C because I was so far along and the baby was too big for that but I finally convinced him to try and he did it. It all went as well as it could and I went home empty.

Losing that baby was the hardest, most painful thing I've ever gone through. I have never felt so empty. It was like they removed my heart during the surgery. The worst part was that we had just told everyone about the pregnancy and now we would have to un-tell everyone. My fertility doctor told me he was going to refer me to a doctor in Toronto who specializes in recurrent pregnancy loss. Finally, someone would admit something was wrong here. I met that doctor in April of 2009 and I'm currently waiting to hear back from him on all my tests. He is scheduled to call me on June 15th. So we wait......